Our Focus and Purpose
There’s a growing effort nationwide to re-educate the public concerning children and their grief. Through the efforts of many child growth and development researchers, educators, therapists and social observers it’s becoming more fully understood that children do, in fact, deeply experience and grieve their losses.
This is a significant departure from earlier understandings; it was thought by many that children weren’t capable of feelings deep enough to experience the pain of loss on more than just a superficial level.
Our website has been created to stand with others as an informational resource for those of you who are supporting children and young adults as they grieve. It’s our hope that the combination of our information, and your support, will help these young people move back into the mainstream of their childhood lives with greater ease.
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Our Backgrounds
Leah Bailey Hawley, ‘the big sister’, is the initiating force behind Kids Grieve, Too. Offering children an avenue of expression for their grief has long been important to Leah. She was aware through the unfolding of her nursing practice that their need ran deep, but the resource level available to them did not.
The diversity that a long career offers has been invaluable in exposing Leah to the broad spectrum of human behavior. Time spent early-on in Medical-Surgical and Critical Care Units, and mid-career experiences in Oncology/Chemotherapy, Pain Control, and Gastroenterology units all prepared her for what she calls the most intimate and the most fulfilling work of her 36-year practice - Care of the Dying and Bereavement Care of their loved ones.
Traditional educational preparation through the University of Rochester, Rochester, NY and Eastern Kentucky University, Richmond, KY resulted in Leah’s licensing as a Registered Professional Nurse. A several year long, and deeply rewarding volunteer experience with The House of John, Home for the Terminally Ill in Clifton Springs, NY, moved Leah to extend her formal education further into the care of the dying. She is now certified as a Death Care Provider following completion of graduate level training at Southwest College, Santa Fe, NM. Their extensive Death Education/Grief Counseling/Hospice program is one of only two in the nation that was ever endorsed by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.
Although no longer involved in delivering traditional hospital nursing care, Leah is still active in providing care to those grieving the loss of loved ones. Through ‘Grieving and Growing’, a division of Kids Grieve, Too, she writes and publishes books and articles of support for grieving young people. Leah also currently job shares the Volunteer Coordinator position at the Keuka Comfort Care Home with her sister Susan. The opportunity of supporting nearly 170 volunteers, as they support the dying residents and their families, is truly an honor according to Leah. Although luckily not needed too often, she remains an active team member in International Mass Fatality Disaster Response, as well; NYC following 9/11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center, Thailand following the Great Tsunami, Louisiana following Hurricane Katrina, and numerous sites following airline crashes are some of the opportunities Leah’s had for extending support to grieving families.
Leah shares:
“I’ve been lucky. I’ve had the chance to dabble in miscellaneous study over the years – cultural anthropology, archaeology, watercolor painting, world religions, and spiritual studies – but after all, and above all, I still most clearly know myself as a nurse. I count myself among the many nurses out there who care . . . who give care . . . and who educate others in the art of caring.”
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Susan Bailey Heller, ‘the middle sister’ of the Kids Grieve, Too trio, began her healthcare career some 32 years ago with educational preparation through Erie Community College, Buffalo, NY and NYS licensure as a Dental Hygienist. Although no longer practicing in dental medicine, Susan still actively reaches out to her community members through a wide variety of care-giving and supportive endeavors.
A meaningful early stretch as a First Responder with the Penn Yan Area Volunteer Ambulance Corp drew Susan in and eventually prompted her to seek further training in Emergency Response Medicine. She successfully completed course study, sat for her exam and is now certified as an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician). Susan does a weekly shift running with the ambulance crew and additionally serves as the PYAVAC’s Office Manager. She is instrumental in organizing and maintaining order with the substantial flow of information inherent in emergency care.
As deeply aware of the needs of the world, as of those in her own rural community, Susan quite naturally adds International Emergency Response to her care-giving outreach. Keeping herself prepared to deploy, within as little as one hour’s notice, she’s traveled to support those involved in mass casualty and catastrophic events worldwide. She values the times (as recorded above) in which she and Leah have both been able to step outside their home town’s boundaries and extend themselves in aide to bereaved families.
On a smaller and quieter scale, but of equal importance to her, Susan supports those who are anticipating their deaths. Following the completion of training in Canandaigua, NY, she served as a Home Hospice Volunteer through Ontario-Yates Hospice and then as a Resident Caregiver at Hospeace House, a Hospice house in Naples, NY. In this same vein, and very dear to her heart, Susan volunteered her time in helping to get a house for the dying created in her own home town, Penn Yan. Now a weekly volunteer, as well as, an employee there – Susan job-shares the Volunteer Coordinator position – she shares not only her organizational and managerial talents, but her empathetic understanding, as well.
Having worked for years with people who’ve suffered trauma and loss, Susan readily recognizes that kids can benefit greatly, just as adults can, from simply having their losses acknowledged. Putting her creative talents to work, she helps them get those losses and accompanying grief recognized. Through ‘Sibs Creations’, a division of Kids Grieve, Too, Susan co-produces and co-creates a line of sympathy cards made specifically for kids – to both give and to receive.
Susan shares: “I've been with people during perhaps the most difficult times of their lives. When I've responded to emergencies, and also when I've sat quietly giving end of life care, I've had unique views into hearts, minds and souls and it seems to me that regardless of the situation, medical crisis intervention or palliative care setting, what people need first and foremost is someone to look them in the eyes, acknowledge their feelings, and say ‘I care about you . . . I can help.’”
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Lina Bailey Brennan is the youngest of the Bailey sisters partnered in Kids Grieve, Too. She brings 27 years of Human Resource in Healthcare experience to the team. Through the benefit of her years in management leadership and the wealth of knowledge she gathered before receiving her Bachelor of Science degree from Keuka College, Keuka Park, NY, Lina has been able to serve her community members, in addition to guiding and supporting the healthcare personnel in her workplace – Finger Lakes Health, a coordinated service of hospitals, nursing homes, and outpatient services in 3 separate rural communities in the Finger Lakes Region of Upstate NY.
Lina’s volunteerism has taken on many faces over the years. Time served as a member of administrative teams of both her local chapter of the American Red Cross and her Penn Yan United Methodist Church put her work skills to good use. Stepping outside her management box, and not initially even sure she was up to it, Lina joined her family members – her sisters (3), her brothers-in-law (2) and her mother – at the Keuka Comfort Care Home. As it turned out, she was a ‘natural’ at hands-on care giving and recounts her time at the House as truly inspirational. She is now happily settle in and is one of the House’s many devoted volunteers who weekly give care to terminally ill residents in the last 3 months of their lives.
With a teen at home and a young adult in college, Lina has a current and direct line into what our young people are confronted with on a daily basis. Because kids have always been an important focus in her life, she has an impressive and long history of time and energies offered to them in support. She’s worked with young people through her church’s youth group activities and has been on-board from the beginning as an active participant in the preparation and implementation of a contemporary worship service – often easier received and more meaningful to young people.
Lina’s kid savvy awareness, coupled with her deep concern, has been invaluable to Kids Grieve, Too; ‘Honorings from the Heart’, the division which she chairs, develops age-appropriate projects for grieving children. She co-creates and co-crafts kits for grade-schoolers and is successful in keeping them fresh and current.
Lina shares:
“The quote by Pierra Auguste Renior sums up the outcome we look for when dealing with loss: ‘The Pain passes, but the beauty remains.’ When we are faced with loss, it is often a very painful experience. This can be especially true for children when they don't understand what is happening. It is our role to help them understand, work through their grief so they can have the beautiful memories of the one they loved.”
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